On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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