Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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