Joe is yelling at the trees again.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
