I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
