I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
