their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
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