every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
