I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
