24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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