bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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