His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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