just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My bed smells like the plague
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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