she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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