Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
