i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
