Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize