butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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