Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
