hotel room ftw
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
