If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pants are for mortals
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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