Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
