Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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