Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
