she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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