well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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