Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
