Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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