4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize