It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
