Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
