i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
