So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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