Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Randomize
