I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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