Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
