Fuck appropriateness.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
