I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize