Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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