Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
