Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
