____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
