Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
