What a fucking waste of an outfit
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
