I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
