well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize