On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
