I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Bring me that man meat
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
