OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
