how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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