don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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