I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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