I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
