you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
