I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize