Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
