I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
