fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thank you for not boning my boss.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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