u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize