Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am naked and annoyed.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
