Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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