So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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