Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
