please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
