Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize