4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize