One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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